Vaguean: (n.)

A person who hasn’t yet decided what they’re opposed to eating.


Two young women sit debating the dwindling ethics of sustenance. Any act of consumption beyond photosynthesis seems to percolate some deep reservoir of outrage in each one. They trace their refusals back to their girlhoods, when they’d eaten the food their parents had insensitively plopped before them (perhaps lovingly prepared after a long day of working in a miserable job).

“Ugh,” the one says to her partner, “so gross.”

When the waiter approaches, they admit that they’ll need another minute to decide.


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