White Wail: (n.)

White people’s psychotic obsession with their misperceived persecution and victimization at the hands of multiculturalism and economic justice.


** Credit to Chris Fernandez for his illustrative magic up there.

I try to avoid extreme positions. It’s not that I don’t have extreme feelings; nearly all of my feelings are extreme. Ask anyone who’s watched me talk to or about my cat. I’d compose arias to the little goblin if I could. But in nearly everything else, I strive to stay somewhere in the middle… for perspective if no other reason. I’m a centrist in my politics. A relativist in my morals. And a moderate on nearly every subject except Shakespeare (I know), astronomy, and sandwiches. And my cat. He’s the best. 

But there is one absolute I’ve developed over the years – something ironclad:

Rich white people need to stop complaining about their own victimization.


I say this as a straight, white man of the upper-middle class born in the 1980s. When it comes to the span of human history, I’ve won the goddamn lottery. Everything has been handed to me. I’ve wanted for nothing. I’ve had personal pain and tragedy, of course. I’m human. But in nearly every respect, life has offered to trim the crust from my sandwiches from the moment I slithered into being.

Fellow white people, dudes mostly… here’s the deal: We’re not victims. Not at the hands of racial and economic justice, anyway. We can’t be – it’s fundamentally impossible for us to be so – because the very mechanisms of victimization either belong to us, or ultimately turn and churn for our benefit.

I’m not going to say someone can’t be rich. I’m not going to that person can’t be happy about being rich. Hell, I’d probably be too if I were wealthy. But white people can’t claim victimhood. Ever. That’s the cost of owning pretty much everything – it drives up the price of victimhood far beyond what we’re willing to pay. We could dismantle the mechanisms of white supremacy. We could offer reparations for what our ancestors took through force. But we don’t. And therefore we can’t claim the dignity of victimhood. It’s that simple.

So stop it. Stop debasing yourselves with the term. And please bring a swift end to the theatrics of it all. You’re not benighted. You’re not beset. You’re not at war. Not yet.

It isn’t “class warfare” until the mob is chopping your goddamn head off in the town square.

Until then, it’s just people trying to get their share of the pie.

That’s all.


3 thoughts on “White Wail: (n.)

  1. Pingback: White Wail – Illustrated! | Words That Aren't

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