Noun

Iraqtile Dysfunction (n.)

The inability to keep a puppet government from collapsing.

///

Here’s the thing… I know I’m supposed to let this one go. I get it. I should just let my outrage cool and petrify into cynicism.

I mean… I’ve already kinda given up on so many other things.

Like… for instance, the fact that the United States sold us all down the river forty years ago… and that we’re essentially living in a store-bought, capitalistic oligarchy where the owner classes maintain a fixed control over the land, money, and resources and mollify a largely somnambulant public with mind-numbing cultural nonsense, beer, and superhero movies… all while they pillage our habitable environments for what’s profitable at the cost of what’s precious, market the erosion of our civil liberties as the defense of our people, and perpetuate a centuries-long system of cruelty, indifference, and racial disenfranchisement… a system enforced by a violent, corrupt and often murderous police force, and a legislature utterly bereft of vision and leadership which sags to the point of bursting under the weight of its own corruption.

<puff… puff… puff… puff>

I don’t approve of any of this. I don’t want it. I’ll gladly work to fight against it. But, if we’re being honest… this is how it’s always been. And it’s probably how it always will be.

I can wrap my mind around it, though. I get it. I get why it’s like this.

What I don’t get is Iraq. How could that have happened. What absolute blunder. What a complete lack of foresight and strategy. We broke a whole quarter of the world… and we’re probably going to be paying for that for the next hundred years.

How the hell did that happen?

Guh.

Anyway! That was a total bummer. To leaven the mood, here’s a list of things that are completely wonderful:

Sandwiches. Carl Sagan. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Internet videos of people falling down. The way puppies’ and kittens’ noses get all dry when they fall asleep. Old Bay seasoning. Modelo Especial AND Negra. The first ten seasons of The Simpsons. Half of the next ten seasons of The Simpsons. Gnocchi and Meatballs. Madeline Kahn. Kermit the Frog. Hot and sour soup. Mary Oliver. The Big Bopper. Stephen Fry. Blondie. A really crisp green apple. Bunnies. Key and Peele. Jonas Salk. Charles Barkley. Emma Thompson. The entire Radiohead discography…

See? There’s all kinds of stuff that’s good.

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