Illustration

White Wail – Illustrated!

Illustration, Noun
Political conservatives' obsessive whining over their misperceived persecution and victimization at the hands of multiculturalism, economic equality, and public wellbeing.

Political conservatives’ psychotic obsession with their misperceived persecution and victimization at the hands of multiculturalism, economic equality, and public wellbeing.

LOOK AT HIS LITTLE WORRIED FLIPPERS!!! He’s so scared some foreign whale is going to come and upend his undeserved, inherited dominance over the ocean. With his guns and his moneypile and everything. Guh. He’s just so cute, I want to die.

Check out the original definition here!

Thanks to Chris Fernandez for the illustration. Ladies and gentlemen, if this guy were any more talented, we’d drive him toward self-destruction. Because he’s great and we’re awful and can’t have anything nice.

❤ Fernando

Schrödinger’s Carte: Illustrated!

Illustration
Schrödinger’s Carte: (n.) When a diner cannot know with certainty what they are going to order until the waiter comes to the table and asks them.

Schrödinger’s Carte: (n.) When a diner cannot know with certainty what they are going to order until the waiter comes to the table and asks them.

“In the beginning, the meal was without form and void.

And God, who was a bit peckish, looked into His menu and said, I think I’ll have the chicken: and then He paused a moment and said, No… you better make that fish.

And there was Doubt.

And God saw that He would be there a while. And it wasn’t exactly good, but it was alright because He saw the fella with the wine heading His way.”

– Gastronomy 1:1

Thanks to Chris Fernandez for daring to illustrate the swallowing void that is “Schrödinger’s Carte”.

Everyone go look at his website, and then hire him for all the jobs. Because he’s glorious.