A person who looks, dresses, or behaves like a grandpa decades before their time.

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Some time in my mid-20s, I began a glorious metamorphosis.

My wardrobe began to bloom with cardigans.

My saturdays filled up with Scrabble marathons.

The soundtrack of my day-to-day existence was scored by NPR, and somehow I became a recurring contributor to PBS.

At 32, I have been reborn in a glorious emergence.

I have stared long and hard into my own soul. And I see that it is my grandfather.

A skinny-armed old man in a blousing tanktop, dozing quietly in a lawn chair with a visor on his head and a half-peeled orange in his hand.

Turn your music down.

It’s naptime.